Am I Being Kind to Myself? A Self-Compassion Exercise

This is a question that is probably well worth asking.

My mind has certainly been, and still can be, a tyrant towards me. It often tells me the “I am a bad person” story. And it is never short of reasons why this might be true. It brings up memories, places, and moments from the past as evidence to prove that it is right.

Minds are very good at creating stories, and everybody has their own:

“I am not worth it.”

“I do not deserve it.”

“I am not good enough.”

Each of these stories can carry a great deal of suffering.

However, while you cannot always stop your mind from telling these stories, you can choose how you relate to them.

In my experience, I have noticed that most people are much kinder towards others than they are towards themselves.

So ask yourself this question:

Am I being as kind to myself as I would be to a friend in need of help?

To answer this question, try going through these steps:

Imagine that a friend comes to you for help.

Imagine that they tell you the “I am not good enough” story, or any other painful story that you usually tell yourself.

Take a few minutes to reflect on how you would respond to them.

What words would you say?

What attitude would you have?

What actions would you take?

You will most likely find that the way you support your friend is more compassionate and kind than the way you usually treat yourself.

Can you start to extend some of that same kindness and support towards yourself?

Let me know in the comments if you find this post helpful.

When self-kindness feels difficult

For some people, being kind to themselves is not simple. The mind may be used to criticism, judgement, comparison, or old stories about not being good enough. In those moments, self-kindness can feel fake, uncomfortable, or even undeserved.

This is one reason therapy can be helpful. In my work as an English-speaking therapist in Paris, I often support people who are dealing with a harsh inner critic, anxiety, overthinking, difficult emotions, or the feeling that they are stuck in repeated patterns.

My approach is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. Rather than trying to force positive thoughts, we look at how your mind speaks to you, how those stories affect your behaviour, and how you can build a more flexible and compassionate way of responding.

Self-kindness is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about learning to meet yourself with enough care that change becomes possible.

If this feels familiar, you can start with an introductory call to explore whether therapy in Paris or online therapy might be a good fit. #SelfDiscoveryWays #bekindtoyourself #selflove #mefirst