Noticing Feelings, Emotions and Sensations

In my previous post, I wrote about why starting with the question “What is happening?” can be more useful than immediately asking “Why is this happening?”

The what question is about observing your internal experience.

That includes:

• thoughts

• memories

• emotions

• body sensations

• beliefs

• urges

• patterns of behaviour

The aim is to become more familiar with the way you respond to external events as you move through life.

This familiarity matters because it can give you more headspace. It can create a small but important pause between what happens and how you respond.

That pause is where change becomes possible.

Moving from reaction to action

You may begin to notice something like this:

“In this situation, I notice that I have these feelings and thoughts. I can sense them in these places in my body, and I tend to behave in this way.”

This is the beginning of emotional, cognitive, and body awareness.

You are not trying to judge yourself.You are not trying to fix yourself immediately.You are learning to notice what is happening clearly enough that you can choose your response more flexibly.

This is one of the foundations of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT: learning how to notice difficult thoughts, feelings, and sensations without automatically being ruled by them.

Examples of noticing in everyday life

You are talking to colleagues about an important project. You notice tightness in your chest. Anxiety rises. A thought shows up:

“I will not make it.”“I am not good enough for this project.”

You then notice that you struggle to engage with them. You may become quieter, more defensive, or more disconnected.

Or imagine you have just given a presentation.

A colleague looks at you with a strange expression.

Your mind says:

“I did not do a good job.”

“We have lost the sale.”

Your stomach becomes sore. You lose your appetite. Later that evening, you notice that you are still worrying about it. You are physically at home, but mentally you are still in the meeting room. You feel disconnected from your family.

The next day, you discover that the presentation went well.

Nothing terrible happened.

But your mind and body had already reacted as if something had gone wrong.

Try this simple noticing exercise

When you feel emotionally activated, pause and ask yourself:

What am I feeling?

Name the emotion if you can: anxiety, sadness, anger, shame, fear, pressure, disappointment.

Where do I feel this in my body?

Chest, stomach, throat, shoulders, face, hands, breathing.

What thoughts are showing up?

Try to write them as sentences: “I am not good enough,” “They are judging me,” “I need to escape,” “I must fix this.”

What am I being pulled to do?

Avoid, argue, hide, apologise, check, control, shut down, over-explain.

Is this response helping me move towards the life I want to build?

The aim is not to get a perfect answer.

The aim is to collect information with curiosity.

Becoming a scientist of your own experience

This “What is happening?” phase is similar to data collection.

You are like a scientist looking at a situation with curiosity, trying to understand what is going on.

This is not always easy.

As you keep exploring, you may notice that some of your observations are biased by your thoughts and emotions. Often, this discovery comes in hindsight. You may realise later that your mind was predicting rejection, failure, danger, or criticism before the facts were clear.

This is why sharing your observations with someone else can be helpful.

Another person can sometimes see the same story from a different angle.

But it matters who that person is.

If someone has done very little self-inquiry themselves, they may add their own biases, beliefs, and values to your story. They may try to fix you, reassure you too quickly, or push their own agenda.

This is one reason psychotherapy can be useful, especially at the beginning of a growth journey.

Working with an English-speaking therapist in Paris

As an English-speaking therapist in Paris, I work with people who want to understand their thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and patterns more clearly.

Many of the people I work with look like they are coping from the outside, but internally feel anxious, overloaded, stuck, or disconnected from what matters to them.

Therapy offers a structured space to slow the process down.

Instead of reacting automatically, we can begin to notice:

• what shows up in the mind

• what happens in the body

• what emotions are present

• what old patterns are being activated

• what response would move you closer to your values

Psychotherapists are also required to go through therapy during their training and to receive supervision. These professional requirements matter. They help create a space where your experience can be explored with care, attention, and less risk of someone simply projecting their own story onto yours.

The goal is not to analyse yourself forever.

The goal is to build enough awareness and flexibility that you can move from reaction to action.

If this feels familiar, you can start with an introductory call to explore whether therapy is the right fit.