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The Silent Impact: How Your Past Shapes Your Relationships Today

A family having dinner together one way on how the past shapes your future.

Human connections are the threads that run through our lives, a web of connections that begins from birth. Have you ever seen a baby staring into their mom's eyes or cuddling a teddy bear at night? These little experiences, even though they seem small, shape who we become as adults.

However, this influence is not limited only to the cognitive sphere. Every experience is internalized in your body, and the way you learn to react in childhood emerges in your adult life.

If you grew up in a place where people always made you doubt yourself, you might have this feeling that "I'm not good enough." Or if you didn't get much attention as a kid, you might think "Nobody cares about me". These thoughts and feelings affect how you relate with others now.

This invisible drive, which acts on an emotional, physical and cognitive level, will push you to recreate, in the present, the environment in which you grew up. A sad example is that of people who were abused at a young age and find themselves in abusive relationships as adults. They have assimilated the "I don't deserve anything better" narrative, the only story that allowed them to survive in that environment, which continues to colour their lives as adults. So, as if by fate, there will be people who constantly attract exploitative "friends", others who will have very jealous partners, or those who will be obsessed with the judgments of others wherever they go. But, more than destiny, it is actually the past that manifests itself in the present.

The stories you internalize during your formative years become the scripts that guide your reactions in adulthood. Casting awareness on these internal narratives marks one of the initial steps in unravelling the intricacies of how your past moulds your present relationships, empowering you to act in ways that prioritize your well-being.

I hope this brief exploration provides insight into the profound impact of your childhood on your present-day relationships and it will serve as a catalyst for your self-reflection and the cultivation of healthier connections in your life.

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